A story about a boy, a girl and God
The story is about a boy , girl and God……… must read whole story otherwise you will miss something really good … enjoy reading, just as I did,
I wait everyday till 8.00 in the office even if there is no work. All of my teammates ask me why; how can I tell them that I don’t wait for any
personal or official work but the only reason why I wait is the ‘secretary’- a girl in my 8.00 p.m bus.
‘Secretary’ is not her real name, it’s sort of a code name given to her by me and my friends. Truly speaking, I like her. She might not be one of those
who look like Aishwarya Rai or Preitty Zinta, but she is cute and simple and that’s the reason I like her. For past 6 months I have been staring at her
in the bus, while going to office and coming back from the office. When I get into bus, somehow my eyes search the whole bus just to have her glimpse.
I never had a girlfriend till now, not that I don’t like to have friendship with girls but somehow they usually prefer tall-dark-handsome qualities in their
boyfriends, out of which I possess none. I don’t want to jump to any relationship like this with the secretary but at least just a friendship, is it possible?
I want to talk to her. I want to have friendship with her. I know her name, for I had seen her ID card one day. But I don’t have the guts to talk to her.
I even don’t know whether she knows me even by face. I know, no one can help me here; no-one other than myself, but I simply have no guts.
At least someone probably a common friend,
might at least formally introduce us to each other.
There is one guy in my office bus. His name is Niranjan. I think he likes me, for me and even my friends have observed him many times staring at myself.
Even when he gets into the bus, rather than searching for an empty seat, his eyes search the whole bus for me. Don’t know why but I kind of like it.
Sometimes the feeling of knowing that someone loves you is far better than actually loving somebody. I didn’t have any affair till today, not that I didn’t
like or love anyone, there was a guy in my college, whom I liked a lot but somehow he stayed away from me, not that he didn’t like me but probably
because I am not that beautiful and he wanted someone much more better than me.
This guy, Niru, that’s what his friends call him, I had heard it once in the bus; he seems to be interested in me, not sure about love as such but
friendship might not be bad. At least the guy seems to be descent one. I would like to be his friend, but how can I go forward?
After all he is the boy, he should come one step ahead â€¦not me.
My roommate told me to approach her and get introduced to her all by myself. It’s not that easy; this is not a college,
What if she complains about this to higher authorities? No, I can’t take this risk.
Someone else better introduce her to me. God, can you help me please?
My cousin told me to show some sign to him that I am ok in having friendship with him. I think he is afraid to come forward.
I’ll give him a good friendly smile tomorrow, when he gets into the bus.
I hope he understands and decrypts my signal. God, can you please help him?
Now should I come into this picture? Both of these human beings are acting as if they are in a big problem.
Although not for me, I had made life so simple for you, just added a bit of emotions there and see how complex you have made it.
Now that I am the god, you must have been expecting me to intervene and have some miracle, but no; I won’t interfere here.
I have created this world with some fixed rules and everything is just working as per that.
Why should I just interfere and break my own rules thereby disrupting the balance of this whole system?
Today when I got into the bus and looked at her, she returned back a cute smile. Was she serious?
I don’t know; probably she must have told her friends about me and they must have been making fun of me and that’s why
when I got into the bus she started laughing and I misunderstood it for smiling. Such a fool of me.
Damn, her friends must be having fun discussing things about me.
Today when he got into the bus, I smiled at him. But he seemed to be more puzzled than pleased.
Is he really interested in having friendship with me or not? I really don’t know. Why am I thinking so much about him?
Have I started liking him? Or is it just like you just get used to some things as a habit, and then you unknowingly start liking them?
I think it’s the latter case here. Please god please let that guy be a descent one. My sixth sense says he is a descent guy.
I think he must have got puzzled because of the smile I gave him. It wasn’t my fault, for I showed him that I am interested in friendship.
Now the ball lies in his court. Will he dare first to talk?
I am damn confused. I don’t know what to do. Every day everyone around me is bombarding me with some tactics to approach her
but nothing seems to suit me well. My roommates even started taunting me that I can’t have a girlfriend or at least the guts to approach the gal.
I am leaving it now on luck. I will just continue whatever is going on; let the luck take us wherever and however intended.
Date : 23 FEB
Today was a holiday. So I couldnt see him, although I wanted to. I actually wanted to apologize for whatever happened yesterday.
I got into the bus and searched for the seat. He was sitting alone on the seat for 3, it was a good chance for me to sit with him and have a word or two.
I was just thrilled. I was about to sit on the same seat when Kruti said something. I didnt hear it properly so I turned to her.
She said, See, Raghav is there, he has reserved seats for us. I just hate that Raghav; he is always ready to flirt provided the other person is a girl.
Whenever I see him, somehow I try my best to be as away from him as I can, I even show hatred to him directly on my face but this guy simply ignores this.
I dont know why Kruti likes him so much.
So the point is I went to the seat that Raghav had reserved specially for us. I felt really bad for Niru, but if I would have denied Raghavs offer and would
have sat on Nirus seat; it would have just been too obvious. He must have felt embarrassed. Poor guy.
Date : 24 FEB
Today he seemed to have lost in thoughts. When he got into the bus, surprisingly he didn’t search for me. He even didn’t look up.
He just went straight to the last seat and started reading a novel. I tried looking at him once or twice but he didn’t lift his head at all.
I think he is hurt, I am feeling sorry, but what can I do? When we got down at the office gate,
I purposefully lingered a bit more at the gates to give back him a smile, but I couldnâ€™t spot him in the crowd.
Niru, I am sorry, please be normal again.
Today I saw him in the food court. He was there with two girls and was chatting, laughing, cracking jokes. He seemed to enjoy the company. Is he also a typical boy who just wants to have as many girls around him as possible? Is he a typical flirt? Does he want me also to get included in that group for show casing? Probably the two girls were just good friends of him. At least I hope so. Please god please let those be his sisters or just friends, nothing else.
Since that evening thing has happened, I have left staring at her. I don’t know but some inner voice is telling me to keep away. I am not a street walking beggar to be treated like this. She might consider herself whatever she might think of. She is beautiful, indeed, but that doesn’t mean she can insult me like that. I have sward not to look at her again anymore and just to avoid her looks.But I can’t stay like this. I just like her and want to be with her. She has committed a mistake, but wasn’t that a bit natural?
She doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to encourage my feelings about her. Simple isn’t it? That’s it. A complete halt for my feelings and my dreams, but I don’t think I can manage not to have even a look at her. Will I be able to do it? There is some saying, ‘Oh god, change the situation around me to favor me. At least give me the strength to change it. If I can’t change it, at least give me the strength to bear it.’ Oh God, please listen to me.
You don’t remember me when you are happy or contempt do you? When there is a problem or a really difficult situation, then you start remembering me or praising me don’t you? I still won’t interfere here. My world is a complex entity with each and every thing or event properly planned for some specific future as well as past reason. Why should I interfere and break the balance of all these systems myself?
I was working in the night shift for the whole week so had to travel by cab rather than bus. I used to work from 4.00 p.m. to 2.30 a.m. so naturally I had lost contact with almost all people working in dayshift except for my teammates who would surrender the charge to me while leaving for the day. For the whole week I didn’t travel by bus. Obviously didn’t see her. She works in the adjacent building only, but I don’t know where her cubicle is located exactly and anyways even if I would be knowing that, I don’t think I have that much guts to approach her. For almost a week I didn’t see her, but I didn’t feel any desperation to see her. I was unbelievably aloof in this case. Was it the effect of that evening incidence?
Today, the office had planned to screen a movie in the campus. I had seen it but thought of enjoying it with friends in the open air. I took the permission for an hour from my boss and went for that. The dialogues were not much audible on the lawns, but it was fun to watch the movie in an open air theatre like that. I was to leave the place to return to my cubicle and turned around when I saw her standing there just around 10 feet away from me. I don’t know why but my heart started speeding a lot higher than even Schumi’s Ferrari. She just smiled at someone in the crowd at my back, tried her best not to look directly to me and just left the place. I stood there for a minute or two just wondering what had happened. Why did she smile? Did she feel good that I am still in the same company only or she didn’t even take notice of my presence and really smiled at someone in the crowd at my back? But we were so close that it was practically impossible for her to just ignore me.
I saw him today, at the movie screening. Thank god he is still working with this company only. I thought of smiling at him and greeting him. I was so happy to see him, I wanted to ask him where he was for so many days, Whether he was not well, had he changed his house or was he using bike for the transport, but again I didn’t ask a single question. I stayed calm. I didn’t want to embarrass him again. I don’t know what I feel about him, but somehow whenever I see him, I do feel better. I hope he starts traveling by bus again. Everyday we can see each other in the morning and wish each other a very good morning without any words or smile but just with a plain look.
I resumed my normal duty today. It was good to see all those familiar faces once again after so many days.Of course my eyes were searching only one face out of that but still.Just like my normal schedule, I got into the bus. She was sitting there with the same plain look on her face, nowhere even a single line of recognition, but when she saw me, her face reflected a small smile. It couldnt escape my notice. Was she happy to see me back in the bus? I dont know about her, but I was definitely happy to see her.Week end is coming ahead hope it will bring something good in my life. Today is salary day so thinking what to do this week end? Hope start of new month with bring in new joy, happiness to my life. BTW today new movie is getting released. Promos looks good must plan to watch this movie..
I was so happy, I tried my best to conceal my happiness but I felt like getting up from my seat and just sit beside him and talk, talk and just talk to him. Hey whats this? Whats happening to me? I never felt like this for anyone. Is this just sympathy for that evening thing or is this love? No chance of it. I dont believe in this love at first sight or so. We dont know each other, we dont know anything about each other, how can this be love? Probably just infatuation whatever it may be I am loving this feeling very much…
Today can be called as the luckiest day of my life. I talked to her face to face for the first time.
Rajesh, my friend had some work today and was travelling by our bus and surprisingly he knew her well.
They were collegemates during the degree. He introduced us formally. I was so happy,
that I just forgot that sometime back she just avoided sitting beside me. Everything in my brain, all my nervousness,
and hatred for her as well as for my loser …all was just washed up.
Now I can talk to her, I hope I can turn this chance to success.
Oh god, thanks a lot… Rajesh was just like an angel sent by you.
Thanks a lottt god…. I am so happy. Even he was. I could easily make that out from his face.
It was just so bright. He still has feelings for me. Thank god, I thought after that day I kinda lost him, but no.
Now we can talk to each other officially. No problem of who is first … we are friends now. God you are great.
Today I had some work so had to travel by office bus. I thought better to go with Niru just for the sake of good company
but it didn’t seem to be necessary when I saw my best friend from our degree college traveling by the same bus. It was a really pleasant surprise to see her after a couple of years or so. I think my transfer to Bangalore will result in some good thing.
She has become more beautiful than she was in our college days. Damn.. why the hell did I neglect her in college when she had crush on me…
I hope she is still single, not even committed or so. I would like simple girl like to get settled in life. Now I am well settled in job,
should go forward with love matter also. When I introduced Niru to her today,somehow her face lit up as if she was eager to have a word or two with him since many days.
Niru’s condition was no different. Do they have something between them? I hope there is nothing of such sort.Oh God, thanks a lot that you made me meet her, I hope you help me once again to make her mine.
Please just keep Niru out of this.
If you get only happiness then you don’t feel its value, do you?
That’s why everything is planned in such a way that whenever you get happy you should understand its true value.
I haven’t done anything special here. It’s all just happening as predefined.
Date: 04 – Mar
Since Rajesh has introduced us to each other, the days have been very good for us. I mean I didn’t talk to her or so, but at least we exchange smile regularly. Let’s see whether I can sit beside her sometime and have a word or two.
Date: 06 – Mar
I sat beside her today in the bus while returning from office. We were chatting a lot, on no specific topics as such, but I really enjoyed her company.She is really a cute, simple and sweet girl. She said she will be reserving a seat for me in the morning bus. Let’s see whether she really keeps her promise…
Date: 10 – Mar
Since last few days, she had been reserving a seat for me in the morning as well as in the evening bus.We both seem to enjoy each other’s company very well. I decided to take a step forward today. I asked her for a cup of coffee in the afternoon. I was a bit depressed about what she might reply but surprisingly, she said yes without thinking even for a moment as if she was actually waiting for such a move from my side. We decided to meet at 4 near the café inside the campus.She didn’t turn up. I don’t have her cell number so I even couldn’t call her and ask why she did so. It was so embarrassing for me to wait there just alone. Did she do it purposefully?
Why? I could make out no sensible reason.
If she would be having a meeting or some office work, she should have informed me.She didn’t call me. My extension or even cell number was available with the telephone directory.Did she do it for the only reason that she wanted to show that she doesn’t care for me and prove her importance?
Today there happened a real disaster. The servers were down and I was so busy in recovering them,debugging the code that I almost forgot I had my first ‘date’ with Niru. I suddenly remembered it just before going to a meeting at 2 and I was sure that I can easily finish off with the meeting by 4 and meet Niru, but no. The destiny had some other plans.I had to be in meeting till 5. I even couldn’t phone Niru and inform him that I am not coming. By the time I was free from that chaos, it was already 6.He must have left for the day. He was going to Mumbai today, so he must have left early.What can I do? I wanted to meet him and apologize face to face. Mail or phone won’t do. I hope we meet on Tuesday.
I’ll explain him everything. He is a nice guy. He will understand me properly. I am hoping so, obviously I don’t have any other option at least till Tuesday.
Date: 14 – Mar
What the hell… what does she think of herself? Today she invited me for a coffee at 4.I went there on time. I didn’t want to miss it but again she didn’t turn up. Why?Is she just stressing how important she is and how unimportant I am for her?I felt like calling her there only and just ask the reason why is she playing games with me like this.I decided to ask this for full and final what the matter was, but she didn’t turn up even for 8 o’clock bus.
I couldn’t see her for last 3 days. Did she come to office? Isn’t she feeling well? I hope she is alright. Oh God, please protect her.
Her father was seriously ill. As a family friend, I helped a lot. She couldn’t go to office for a fortnight or so, but I helped her in conveying the matter to her seniors. I think this last week helped me a lot as in building a rapport with her and her parents.Fate has given me a good chance to get closer to her, I think I can progress here.
Date: 25 -Mar
Today I met Niru finally after so many days. I thought he might be still angry about the coffee thing, but to my surprise, he was a bit tensed as to why I was not coming to the office. I explained him that daddy was seriously ill.He enquired about dad’s health and then simply changed the subject to turn my attention to somewhere else.He was just trying to take me out of the tension about dad’s health. He is such a mature guy, I knew he would understand.
Date: 28 -Mar
Niru and I have been going out for a long time now. I have started loving him.I think even he is serious about this relationship but he is younger than me and I don’t think he is ready for any commitment at this stage of his life,but mumma and dad are pursuing me for marriage; what should I do? Should I ask him?
Date: 31 -Mar
Niru told me today that he is leaving the company. He has got an admission to MBA in a College in Mumbai.It’s really difficult to be away from him at least for 2 years. Should I ask him for a relationship?Will he be ready for that or he just wants to wait till the completion of his MBA? But I can’t wait that much.I think I’ll better ask him straight about the commitment let’s see what he says.
So what you people think? She should confess her love to Him or should wait till 2years without telling him her feelings?
If you don’t have the answer then wait for next ……
To be continued…
Date: 4 – Apr
Today was Niru’s birthday and also his last day in Bengalooru as well as in this company. He left in the evening for Mumbai.It was really a heartbreaking moment to see him parting, especially when both of us were completely aware that we might not see each other in future.I had made the decision; the only problem was how to convey it to him. I chose to be practical than just blind in love.People give you cool gifts on your birthday but what I gave him was just a shock, a damn big shock.He didn’t say anything except for ‘congrats’ and ‘good luck’ but his face told me everything he wanted to convey.I cried there standing in the whole crowd of his friends who had gathered to wish him luck and goodbye. He couldn’t cry out but if possible, he could just have wept then and there.I said him sorry that I chose Rajesh over him. What he replied was surprising. He just replied, ‘No need to say sorry. It’s your life,you have complete right to make a decision and you are mature enough to do so and you have made a wise decision. We were friends and will be, but please don’t expect me to keep a contact with you. I loved you and I really loved you from the bottom of my heart.Now whenever I will think of you I will not have anything else than love in my mind and I think same might be the case with you; and that won’t be right especially when u will be a married woman; married to someone else. So this is our last meet. Thanks for the friendship and the feeling of love that you gave me. Best luck for your future life.’ And he just went inside the bus.Was he so aloof or he just tried to sound so as not to make me feel worse about our parting? I think for all those days that I spent with Niru, I still couldn’t understand him properly. Anyways Niru, what the truth is that I loved you.I loved you like anything but the decision I made was based on practical aspects of life. My decision will prove to be better for both of us and I am damn sure of it. I had started writing diary since when I had seen you for the first time, now since you are not there in my life,I am going to discontinue this practice. This is the last page of my diary.
Best of luck Niru, for your future. Love you. Bye-bye.
This was the worst birthday of my life when I broke up with my love. It can’t be termed as a breakup as such but we parted; we parted forever with a promise not to cross the other’s life anytime in future. I felt like crying; but boys don’t cry, do they? Yes they cry, but secretly….and that’s why I am crying now. The whole page is wet because of my tears. Anyways this is the last page. I have decided not to write this diary anymore. This diary had come into my life with secretary, and since secretary is no more with me, what’s the purpose of this diary? Secretary, just wanted to say best luck for your future.
I Love you. Bye.
Finally, today is that lucky day for me. She said yes. I am so happy. She is mine. Finally my dream has come true. Oh God thanks a lot. You have made my day, in fact my life. Very few people get to live with someone they love; I am one of those lucky ones. My happiness has no bounds. I am very very happy today. Niru left the company today, I don’t know whether we will be able to meet each other in future. I had gone to say good bye and wish good luck to him. He was talking to her. When I saw her face, I again felt some pain in my heart. Are they both having something? If so, why did she say Yes to me? Are they trying to cover-up something? Or is she playing games with me? Or am I coming as an odd between the two? I could see tears in Niru’s eyes when he left her and got into the bus.Her condition was no different, in fact she literally cried. She seemed to recover after a couple of minutes but the way she was looking somewhere into the vacuum, her face clearly was clearly telling her diligent attempts to control tears. Oh god, please show me the way. I hope I didn’t do anything wrong by proposing her . The way they both were talking to each other didn’t show any sign of quarrel or fight between them. Then why they separated? Or they shared some feeling for each other and none of them just bothered to express it? Whatever the situation might be, she has said ‘yes’ to me; must be for some reason, whatever; she is mine now.
Niru is her past and she will forget him; in fact she will have to. Whatever the case may be,
I love her and that’s it.
Ok. Here is the end of this story, not a unique; in fact a very common one and a very very sad ending personally for me. You might be expecting me to interfere in it at the eleventh hour and change the ending so that either; before the bus starts, She runs to the bus and gets into it and goes with Niru to Mumbai or probably when the bus is about to leave, Niru jumps out and hugs her or Rajesh feels something wrong and just takes her on bike and follows the bus just to stop it and make her get into the bus for Niru and so on? But even I cannot help people who cannot help themselves and also as I said before, I had already decided not to intervene and I stuck to my word. Every thing in the life comes with a price and if you are not ready to pay for it then you will loose it. And it looked to me that the girl was not ready to pay the price for her love who is Neeru now. She chose the easy way out which was with Rajesh. She took the decision after evaluating each option she had.
She had thought practically in every aspect and then she chose to kill her love (I wonder what happened to those feelings of the girl ” But I love Niru a lot, probably more than I used to love Rajesh in college days”. Now you will say that it’s me only who decides everything ultimately. No. Indeed its not true at least in today’s time. You have started playing games with yourself now so even I cannot help. I am worried about Neeru as how he would be feeling so I will have to look at him as he is totally alone.
I want to say one thing here it’s very difficult to find someone whom you love and who in return loves you at the same time. Its not easy to find love with True heart.Its very difficult to find some one who just accept you as it is, no conditions. They just love inner beauty and true soul.
So if u love someone tell him or her bcoz may b you will not get the second chance to get your love life and happiness it is easy to find a short term easy way but very difficult to find a true love so if you have found your love do not let him or her go……….