Dydara's Blog

November 26, 2010

Self awareness is the Key to Change and Lasting Happiness

I am a happy man in a happy world!!! :) Dara knows how to enjoy almost every moment of his life!!! :) I just wanna live my life to the fullest. nothing more, nothing less.

I am a happy man in a happy world!!!🙂 Dara knows how to enjoy almost every moment of his life!!!🙂 I just wanna live my life to the fullest. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” — Aristotle

Happiness is Created Through Self Awareness

Self Awareness is the Path to Self Mastery
Self Mastery is the Way to Happiness

The first step in changing the way you create your life is self awareness.

“Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.(don’t wonder who they really are)” —  Saint Augustine

I have learned to be self-aware, and that changed a lot of perceptions about myself , other people and life. Selfawareness is the most important tool to use to enhance my self esteem, I discovered.

 

Self-awareness can be interpreted as both positive and negative. For instance, this could be a plus if you know your mistakes and don’t repeat them. It would be a pain in the ass if you can’t move on with your mistakes and keep blaming yourself. 

I am the kind of man who has a thousand kind of men in one body, so that’s make me become not a man of so boring person and The never boring life of me with a thousand ideas.:)

I spent many long years of my life trying to understand how to become aware. I used to react with reflection, judging others, wonder why people act the way they Do? and rationalizing my every action.

Take time out to reflect on your self. Do you like what you see? Do you wish to change some attitudes, traits and habits? You can gain a lot of inspiration from wise quotes on reflection. It is never too late to change.

គ្មានអ្វីដែលអាចជួយយើងបានទេ ក្រៅអំពីស្មារតីភ្ញាក់រលឹករបស់យើង។ គ្មានអ្វីជំរុញយើងបានទេ ក្រៅអំពី ចំណង់ប្រាថ្នារបស់យើង។ គ្មានអ្វីដែលអាចបំភ្លឺផ្លូវយើងបានទេ ក្រៅអំពីសតិប្រាជ្ញារបស់យើង។

Think twice. Act wise.

William L Shirer: Quotes on Reflection
Most true happiness comes from one’s inner life, from the disposition of the mind and soul. Admittedly, a good inner life is difficult to achieve, especially in these trying times. It takes reflection and contemplation and self-discipline.

Norman Vincent Peale:
“One of the greatest moments in anybody’s developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is.”

It is hard to say what quality really means. Is it perfection? Or is it matching of expectations?



Self awareness, in the simplest terms, is the discovery of one’s own personality. It allows us to discover ourselves; our likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and our own individuality.

Personality is the traits that make you an individual. Character is an universal attribute. Like honesty or respect. You are born with personality but develop character. A person’s interests, can reflect his character and personality.

Have You Ever Wondered Why people act the way they do or you behave as you behave?

Everyone behaves the way that they do because they are acting through a filter of the rocks (values, assumptions, beliefs, and expectations) that they carry around. For me, This is what I believe:

“I can do whatever I want with my life. This is my life.🙂 But whatever I do, I just don’t step on other people’s shoes and do not spit on other people’s life. That is about being careful and taking a good care of my life!🙂 Sometimes I can hurt someone, unintentionally. I am sorry about that! Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.”

The spice of life “go to different places, meet different people, and see different things.” “Good things happen to A Good person.”

 Figure out what you want in life and learn how to ask for it!🙂

If you want to develop a better personality, one that will help you succeed in life, the first step is to be able to know yourself. If you are conscious about your positive and negative behaviors and traits, you can easily sift through these, and keep the good ones, while getting rid of anything that will hinder you from having the personality you want.

Individuality is not a trait shared by everyone. I Respect the individuality of others and be accepting of individual differences. But some people don’t understand mine.

The difference makes the world beautiful. It means that everyone is unique in his/her own way and don’t look down on someone who is different from you.

“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” ~ Confucius


What Comprises Self Awareness?
If you want to build a high self esteem and become more confident, you should have a sufficient level of self awareness. This means you should know these things:

1. Your goals in life

2. The things and events that make you happy, as well as those that make you sad

3. Your strengths and weaknesses

4. Your values and beliefs

5. Your philosophy in life

6. Your achievements and how you attained them

7. Your failures and what caused those, as well as what can be done to prevent them

8. Your way of relating with others

9. Your way of dealing with people, events, and things

10. How you see yourself and others

There is a huge difference between being self aware and being selfish. While the latter is all about thinking only of yourself and being greedy, the former is positive because by developing and knowing yourself, you can give more of yourself to other people, which will result in establishing stronger relationships, and at the same time, building your confidence and self esteem.

Importance of Self Awareness It All Begins With Awareness
“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.”- Tao Tzu

Awareness is the first step in the creation process. As you grow in self awareness, you will better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave as you behave. That understanding then gives you the opportunity and freedom to change those things you’d like to change about yourself and create the life you want. Without fully knowing who you are, self acceptance and change become impossible.
Self-awareness includes a recognition of our personality, our strengths and weaknesses, our likes and dislikes. Developing self-awareness can help us to recognise when we are stressed or under pressure. It is also often a prerequisite for effective communication and interpersonal relations, as well as for developing empathy for others.

Having clarity about who you are and what you want (and why you want it), empowers you to consciously and actively make those wants a reality. Otherwise, you’ll continue to get “caught up” in your own internal dramas and unknown beliefs, allowing unknown thought processes to determine your feelings and actions.
If you think about it, not understanding why you do what you do, and feel what you feel is like going through your life with a stranger’s mind. How do you make wise decisions and choices if you don’t understand why you want what you want? It’s a difficult and chaotic way to live never knowing what this stranger is going to do next.
Who’s the expert?

When we want good, solid information, we turn to the experts. So, who are you going to turn to for information about yourself? Who’s the expert?

You.

Does a friend, a therapist, a minister, your hero, your spouse, your parents know more about you than you? They can’t. You live in your skin and mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Day in and day out. No one’s closer to you than you! The answers are in there, perhaps all you’ve needed to solve your riddles is a useful question.

Knowing yourself is essential if you want to change your life for the better. Know where you are good at, and where you need to improve on. With self awareness, it will be easy for you to seek a career in which you can excel in; you can enrich your life because you know in which direction you should go to; you will know what you want, and because of this awareness, you will be a happier person, living the life you want for yourself.

How to Develop Self Awareness

Self awareness can be enhanced through our experiences. We learn from our own mistakes, or even from other people’s mistakes. But if you want to get ahead of the game, there are other outlets by which you can develop self awareness. Among these are:

• Adhering to Good Values. There are certain values that will help you become more self- aware and these are: humility, honesty, and ambition. If you are humble enough, it will be easier for you to accept your faults and be more willing to accept criticisms and corrections. Honesty allows a person to focus on the things that need to be changed because he is true to himself. Ambition, on the other hand, motivates a person to change because he has high expectations of himself and understands that to meet those expectations; he has to do what needs to be done, including pinpointing his strengths and weaknesses.

The importance of self awareness

Building self awareness is important because:
It will help you to observe yourself and life free from judgment. (There is
a time for judgment of yourself and others, but you also cannot accurately judge what you cannot clearly, objectively observe first); It enables you to see yourself as you truly are, for better and for worse.


A while ago I changed the color of my hair. I noticed that nobody said anything regarding this change. I went through that day just observing, being self aware. It didn’t bother me that nobody made any comment; in the past, I would have been humiliated. But now it became a pleasant experience. I felt comfortable and confident with my change. I wasn’t looking for others’ approval. I observed myself and other people without judging, reflecting, or rationalizing. This experience led me to understand that my need for the approval of others has truly diminished , my self esteem improved. This is what I call knowing yourself. If you know yourself and don’t need everyone else’s approval for all you say and do, those who really love what you think and feel will be easy for you to recognize when they come along, so your relationships with others will improve in every way .

You will better understand your behaviors and feelings as you become self-aware and enrich your life.

I just realized that my personality is still like a mirror, whatever you did in front of it, you would see it reflected back at you. If my friends yell at me I will yell back at them.

If they don’t provoke me first I will not provoke them. Some friends like to blame me if something is wrong, I am not kind of pointing finger person who like to blame others, I am just trying to sort it out. They keep mentions about his good deeds to me. Some friends like to talk behind my back even defame about me. Usually I am easy-going person, but with difficult people, I will behave like difficult person to them.

Remember that everybody is somebody’s difficult person sometime.

If u don’t Truly know me then don’t judge me. if u think u know me n u don’t like me, then plz make ur way out of my life. Haters are not needed. Thks :D
The more mercy you have, the less hatred you have. Peace V

Some people say Dara is some kind of gang, yeah maybe if they provoke me first, I am a pacifist (peace-lover).That is why I always keep these good saying in my mind and it can calm me down “If you can control one moment of anger, you can escape hundred days of sorrow.” and ” When anger rises think of the consequences.”
I can be a very good friend if my friends are understand, kind, honest, forgive, not pointing finger and don’t yell at me.

I dare to be different; thing that makes me have a happy life. When people truly know me, many people told me “Dara you have much more good points than bad points” I know because I look like I don’t care about anything, lazy and messy. I really don’t know how to pretend to be a good gentleman and I really don’t know how to make a good first impression.

Before, I was a dare-devil when I got drunk and sad, I drove very fast, It can get me killed and others too, without realizing the value of life. That was the stupidest thing I did. ហេងដែរឆ្លងផុត!!! Now, no more. One life is connected to many hearts. When you have a problem or lose your life, it can damage the heart of your friends, loved one, relatives and especially your parents.
we need to consider our actions and what the consequences will be.

Now I become a cautious man!

I am a carefree person, I don’t care what others think about me because I can’t control what others think of me. “judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.” But whatever I do, I just don’t step on other people’s shoes and do not spit on other people’s life. I can do whatever I want with my life. This is my life.🙂

Some people like to judge and talk behind someone’s back. But I don’t like to judge people. What they are doing is their business. But if they need my help if I can I will. And If they spit on my life, it gonna be my business I have to take care of. When I see someone is good at the first place, I don’t say he or she is a good person, someone can pretend to be a good person, and when I see someone is rude or aggressive, I don’t say he or she is a bad person, because may be he or she just had a bad day. when it comes to judge people I have to spend a long time to get to know them well before judge that people, so it is not gonna be no misjudge.

I made a lot mistakes in my life but I learned from my mistakes, lesson learned. I still have much to learn. Don’t copy my bad habits. what’s done cannot be UNDONE.

Please jump in and remind me so that I can give you credit. The idea is that you should think like a digger who dig a big amount of land just to find small diamonds. which means you should see his good deeds rather than their bad deeds. (may be My National Leader of youth contingent) which helps me to work well with other people.

I am a fun-loving person. But I am mistakenly judged by people who don’t truly know me. it is not all about having fun- it’s about learning, experiencing and exploring life.

Dara knows how to enjoy almost every moment of his life!!!🙂
I just wanna live my life to the fullest. nothing more, nothing less.

And despite all this little controversy that I have with my personality, I still remain to be a Simple man. Overall I am happy with myself!🙂

Everyone has a conscience. Me too. When you have done something wrong, your conscience will blame and it will be on your conscience.

To see more about me click here

https://dydara.wordpress.com/about

I started to observe myself. When I observed my behavior without judging or condemning I realized that I acted childishly as a result of my wounded past. I
triggered the wounded part that resented being let down or neglected. Because there was no judgment, I became conscious of this wound, and with that I could begin trying to heal it.

Meditation is a great tool you can use to practice life observation. When you meditate you don’t “force yourself not to think”; you became an observer of your streaming thoughts and fluctuating emotions. This trains you into practicing reflexive objective observation wherever you go in your life. Meditation helps building self esteem, it connect you with your real self. The source of self worth.

• Using Self-Help Books. You will find a lot of literatures on the Internet which will teach you various ways to be self aware. In these self-help books are techniques which you can apply to help you be observant of yourself and build insight.

• Getting a Life Coach. There are people who make a living by becoming a mentor to those who need guidance and help to improve self. These professionals know that change and improvement starts with becoming self aware. If you are committed enough, and you have the means to hire a life coach, then go ahead.

You can only change what you know, and what you do not know, you cannot change. With this in mind, it is only proper to say that if you want to engage in personality development, you need to start by increasing your self awareness. This does not happen overnight; in fact, it is a continuous process that you need to go through for as long as necessary.

Even the beliefs that you agreed to consciously in the past about what would make you happy might not be true any more. What made you happy when you were 20 may not do it for you at 30. What made you happy at 30 might not satisfy you in your 40’s.

We change, our world changes, and yet our mind so often tries to stay the same. People in a mid-life crisis let their mind resurrect an old dream of happiness and feeling from their youth.   Or rather the beliefs of their youth.  A relationship becomes unhappy or even abusive and the mind clings to the joy of the beginning days coated with fairy dust. The beliefs in the mind of hope keeps us trapped in loops of emotional drama and dissatisfaction. Only by clearing your mind of false beliefs and assumptions can we see ourselves and other people more clearly. By freeing ourselves from the limiting paradigms of old beliefs we have a new opportunity to make better choices.

It is possible to change how you feel

Awareness of the mind and how to direct its thoughts, beliefs and emotions, opens new avenues of possibility. Your life becomes vastly different when you are the one directing your mind instead of letting it direct you.

Change Your Core Beliefs and You Change Your Emotions
When you express love, acceptance, and respect, you create happiness within. When you express judgments, fear, jealousy, and anger you experience emotional chaos. The challenge is to master your emotional expression. You are the only one who can determine the thoughts you think, the words that come out of your mouth, and the emotions you create. Your thoughts, choices and interpretations you make are based in your core beliefs. When you change your core beliefs you change the emotional quality of your life.

The power to change your life and create happiness resides with you. No one else can change what you believe and what you express. But you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

Self awareness is the Key to Change and Lasting Happiness

The first step in changing the way you create your life is self awareness. You can not expect to change what you are not aware of. Self awareness provides the clarity to choose whether you express emotions of love or express emotions out of reactions of fear. Self awareness provides the possibility to catch your self in that moment prior to saying something destructive or even thinking a negative thought. Self awareness is the means to identify your unconscious patterns and raise them in your consciousness so they can be changed. It is through self awareness that you identify and change the underlying core beliefs that drive destructive behaviors and create happiness.

Self Awareness is Different than Book Knowledge

Self Awareness is largely a function of perception and observation. It can not be learned like academic subjects that fill the mind with knowledge.  It can not be learned from books that give us more information to think about and has us noticing less about ourselves, and the world.  Increasing awareness has more to do with emptying the mind of knowledge so we can see ourselves and life more clearly.

Self Awareness Is Developed Through Exercises and Practices
Self Mastery provides a series of practical and easy to implement exercises for developing self awareness that enable you to:

  • Identify and Change Core False Beliefs in Your Mind
  • Control Emotional Reactions that Create a Roller Coaster of Chaos
  • Recover and Develop Personal Power
  • Create Love and Respect in Your Relationships
  • Feel Peace and Joy Within


Change the False Beliefs in Your Mind
Emotional reactions usually stem from your assumptions about how life “ought to be” not from actual events. You create assumptions about people, relationships, business deals, and stocks you invest in. Your false assumptions (beliefs) become the set up to future emotional reactions. Awareness provides the presence of mind to see the assumptions and false beliefs before you invest in them. Clarity allows you to perceive what is really happening instead of following the false beliefs of your mind.

Stop the Emotional Roller Coaster of Reactions
When you no longer live by the false beliefs in your mind you no longer have unnecessary emotional reactions. You can get off the emotional roller coaster that has taken you for a ride. With practice you can choose in the moment not to believe what your mind is saying. This allows you to see the emotional roller coaster coming. You can step back from it and watch it go by without you. You are no longer a victim to the emotions that try to control your life.

Develop Personal Will Power
Having knowledge of a “personal belief” or behavior and a desire to change it is not always enough. Take the smoker who knows their behavior is destructive, wants to quit, but is unable to break the habit. You may have behaviors and emotional reactions that you have been unsuccessful in changing. In this case what is lacking is not just awareness but personal will power. Recovering and developing personal will power allows you to keep your commitments with yourself and others. This is true whether the change is about addictions, emotional reactions, exercise, eating, or relationship habits. One way to recover personal will power is by identifying and changing core beliefs.

When you dissolve a core belief you no longer commit your personal power to that conceptual idea, or spend your energy on emotional reactions. The result is that you have more personal power to break other habits. With awareness you can not only see new possibilities for your self and your relationships, you now have the personal power to make them happen. Changing false core beliefs is just one way to increase your personal power.

Change in your Relationships
By living your life with awareness you will change the way you communicate in your relationships. You will no longer express yourself through the emotional reactions that come from illusions in the mind. You will have the choice and the personal power to express yourself with love and respect. By changing the way you express yourself, people will change the way they respond to you. Relationships are where our false beliefs, emotional reactions, and lack of will power combine to cause the most emotional pain in our lives. Relationship is the area of people’s lives where they yearn for the most change. It is the area where mastering our expression of love can have a profound impact.

Self Mastery through Self Awareness
There are many ways to approach mastery over your life. All of them involve creating integrity in your mind, emotions, actions, and relationships. To accomplish this you will need to understand and have control over your core beliefs, and your expression of emotion. At first glance Self Mastery over your beliefs and your emotions might appear too challenging. However, consider the alternative is to let emotional reactions from false beliefs determine the direction of your life.


For instructions on how you can get rid of the emotional drama in your life:

  • Stop emotional reactions
  • Change core beliefs
  • Quiet the voice in your head
  • Develop communication and respect in your relationships
  • and Create Love and Happiness in your life


6 Comments »

  1. […] see this interesting topic @ https://dydara.wordpress.com/2010/11/26/self-awareness-is-the-key-to-change-and-lasting-happiness/ When you are happy, you live a day. When you are not, you still live one day. Why don’t we make […]

    Pingback by Life is wonderful or Life sucks « Dydara's Blog — March 11, 2011 @ 8:38 pm | Reply

  2. […] see this interesting topic @ https://dydara.wordpress.com/2010/11/26/self-awareness-is-the-key-to-change-and-lasting-happiness/ When you are happy, you live a day. When you are not, you still live one day. Why don’t we make […]

    Pingback by Peace Boat, The Journey In My Dream « Dydara's Blog — March 14, 2011 @ 10:07 pm | Reply

  3. I am really impressed by this article. That’s a kind and meaningful contribution. Keep writing, Dara! At least, you have me as audience:)

    Comment by Phearoun Pok — April 30, 2011 @ 3:11 pm | Reply

    • Thanks!🙂 I think the world views my blog!🙂

      Comment by dydara — April 30, 2011 @ 4:49 pm | Reply


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