Dydara's Blog

April 7, 2011

Anger Management

Writing is important tool to use to enhance my self esteem.

I’m really obsessed with writing! 🙂 Even I was on holiday I still wanted to write for my blog. Usually I don’t write when I am on holiday. But that day I wanted to publish some topics. But I still could not make it because the Internet did not work, I tried many times. I follow this quote “Don’t Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Do Today” But I thought these topics can wait, so I just wrote some draft of something I came up with. I wrote something that I wanted to include in my blog in the yellow book. 03.04.2011

Angry & Miserable – Don’t Let It Be You !

The term anger management commonly refers to a system of psychological therapeutic techniques and exercises by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger & aggression can control or reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects of an angered emotional state.

One strategy for controlling anger is finding agreement with another person rather than conflict. The use of deep breathing and meditation can be used as a means of relaxation. Other interventions include learning empathy, stress management skills, forgiveness, changing how you speak about yourself or others and improving optimism. Other approaches emphasize experiential exercises that enable changes in attitude reducing the tendency toward anger. As the issue of anger varies from person to person, solutions need to respect and build upon each individual’s life experience.

You want brutality? I’ll show you brutality! hehehe just kidding, but seriously that was me before. When I hang out, I don’t want any trouble, but if  I have to, I will. As we get older, things seem less important.

I don’t hold a grudge against anyone. If I do, I do it in good way “the best revenge is success.” I live happier and more meaningful life than that people.
Who can tell me one benefit of the Anger? “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

I think our angry behavior is like animal’s weapon to protect their self.

Anger is a natural human emotion and is nature’s way of empowering us to prevent our perception of an attack or threat to our well being. The problem is not anger, the problem is the mismanagement of anger. Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal and professional relationships.

Domestic abuse, road rage, workplace violence, divorce, and addiction are just a few examples of what happens when anger is mismanaged.

You have no idea what I am capable of! You know who you’re dealing with. About to let you know. Heheeheehee 🙂 just kidding. I just act tough and that’s how I got through everything 🙂

I think I’m a nice guy. But I have a bad side, everybody does. Do not bring out my bad side. Do you understand what I am saying?

Before, my personality was like a mirror, whatever you did in front of it, you would see it reflected back at you. Because I have learned two phrases, my personality has changed from being a person that would be good to people who were good to him and bad to people that were bad, to a person that respects others and treat others as he would like to be treated. The two phrases is “treat everyone with politeness even those who are rude to you, not because they are not nice but because you are nice” If we do the same thing as rude people we are not different then them. And “If you can control one moment of anger, you can escape hundred days of sorrow”

Every mistakes made by one wrong decision. So make the right choice. 🙂

“While seeking revenge, dig two graves – one for yourself.”

Don’t let your today’s decision become your tomorrow’s regret!

Be patient. Because one moment of impatience can ruin a whole life.

I think I am more kind and easy-going then normal people but if you bring out the very worst in me, you will see one of the craziest men you’ve ever met. It rarely happens. My bad temper is probably much worse than some people’s bad temper. What is wrong with me? This time I’m serious. The most powerful weapon is the human soul on fire. Don’t get me wrong, I had been raised on a philosophy of non-violence. I don’t know how some people were raised, but my family never used physical force.

Some of the most unpleasant and difficult people I have been around spit on my life and I wanted to kick their ass. But I always have utmost patience, but it is like a time bomb ticking, wait to explode. And it is kind of a war inside my head. When someone say something in order to hurt my feelings I know how to play along and they will get what they deserve. What you want to do with me is what I want. If they beat me first I will beat them up. This is Not a Threat, It’s a Promise.You want some come and get some, but be careful what you wish for!!! it never happened because I am very easy-going and rarely spit on someone’s life first. Sometimes I can hurt someone, unintentionally. I am sorry about that! 🙂

I’m making myself sound bad, this is just one part of me, to know who I really am click here, https://dydara.wordpress.com/about

That is why I always keep these good sayings in my mind.

“I don’t want to cause my parents any problems.”

When I am angry with someone, I think of his or her good things that they did for me, or their good deeds rather than their bad deeds. These things make my anger disappear. Or I don’t like feeling angry, when I have that, I’ll feel unhappy. 🙂

I can find positive ways to relieve stress.
I have the courage to walk away from unnecessary conflict. Sometimes there is no need to prove you are a tough or brave person. There is always time for that. :
I like the way I am able to handle my anger. 🙂

If we keep these good sayings in our minds, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that sayings, if followed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble.

All these golden words are  like my self-control. Let good saying, be our guide. it works wonders for me, I hope it helps you like it has helped me. 😉

self-control = ability to control one’s behavior and not act emotionally, command over one’s actions and feelings. Ex: Although angry she kept her self-control.

Before, I was a dare-devil when I got drunk and sad, I drove very fast, It can get me killed and others too, without realizing the value of life. That was the stupidest thing I did. ហេងដែរឆ្លងផុត!!! Now, no more. One life is connected to many hearts. When you have a problem or lose your life, it can damage the heart of your friends, loved one, relatives and especially your parents.
we need to consider our actions and what the consequences will be. Now I become a cautious man!

I am moody, messy, naughty, stubborn, weird, annoying,… whatever that is imperfect can describe me, 😦 but I know how to behave 🙂

not happyI don’t like feeling angry, being envious or hold a grudge against anyone! When I have that, I’ll feel unhappy. I always make my feeling as clear as water. It’s not in my character to be jealous. But sometimes, I need to teach someone a lesson for those who spit on my life! Positive thinking and forgiveness are the most important ingredient in the formula of happiness.

I’m looking forward to the future with a smile. I want you to be as happy as I am.

Forgive, it’s important. Your ability to forgive is gonna determine the quality of
the rest of your life more than anything else. The more mercy you have, the less hatred you have.

When you’ve done something wrong you can forgive yourself, why you can’t forgive others?

You will never truly be free unless you freely forgive. Hate is
like a chain around your neck that leads you to places you don’t wanna go.
It’ll lead you into darkness and desolation. You become a slave
to that hatred, and it’ll only lead to your own destruction.
You must break free.

Mahatma Gandhi “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Oh, boy. I’m real scared. Bring it on. Be careful what you wish for!!!

When anger is mismanaged, the results can be catastrophic in both terms of dollars and the waste of human potential.

Some Psychologists recommend a balanced approach to anger, which both controls the emotion and allows the emotion to express itself in a healthy way. Some descriptions of actions of anger management are:

  • Direct This would include making behavior visible and making communication clear. The end result is to not become resentful, but rather, be honest about the feeling of anger and what is causing it.
  • Honorable This includes identifying the moral basis for the anger, and being willing to dialog around the reason for the anger. In short, this includes taking responsibility for actions.
  • Focused This means staying with the issue of concern, and not bringing up irrelevant material.
  • Courageous This implies careful and thoughtful self-examination. Additionally, this means being willing to admit when one is wrong or when a reaction is inappropriate.
  • Humility This means seeking the truth instead of merely being defensive, and self-justifying.
  • Forgiveness This means acknowledging the wrong in someone else’s behavior or words and then letting go of bitterness and resentment associated with that wrong.
  • Listen This means hearing the other person out, asking questions around their feelings and their reasons for their action.
  • Thankfulness This means finding elements related to the situation where one is genuinely appreciative and expressing that.

A common skill used in most anger management programs is learning assertive communication techniques. Assertive communication is the appropriate use of expressing feelings and needs without offending or taking away the rights of others. It is typically started with the use of “I” statements followed by a need statement. For example, “I feel upset when you don’t take my feelings into consideration when you talk about your past relationships. I hope you can be more thoughtful and know what you should and should not say the next time.”

Another approach is to enable a person to reduce his or her tendency to become angry. Experiential workshops such as those provided by the Alternatives to Violence Project can bring about changes in attitude and improve abilities to communicate and relate to others.

With regard to interpersonal anger, Dr. Eva L. Feindler recommends that people try, in the heat of an angry moment, to see if they can understand where the alleged perpetrator is coming from. Empathy is very difficult when one is angry but it can make all the difference in the world. Taking the other person’s point of view can be excruciating when in the throes of anger, but with practice it can become second nature. Of course, once the angry person is in conditions of considering the opposite position, then the anger based on righteous indignation tends to disappear.


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